yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
