Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
