the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Randomize
