there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I smell like Dick and happiness
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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