Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
