youre lurking in front of me
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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