i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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