Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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