hotel room ftw
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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