found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
