My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
