she smelled like a LAN party
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
