So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
My vagina is officially offended.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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