I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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