So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
