Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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