No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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