I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I love black thongs
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
