I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
