p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
