That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
