Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
