so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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