it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
The Olympian is in my bed
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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