Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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