Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize