Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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