I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
