You can't special order awesome
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
