I'm really into asian looking animals
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
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