four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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