Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
This is my gift to your gina
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
