Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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