Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
