There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
