So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
