all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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