I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
tonight lets celebrate not being married
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
