I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
the day after is always just damage control
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
We are two peas in an std pod
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize