His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
two words...techno handjob
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
