Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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