So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Did I show you my penis last night?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
