She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
