Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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