I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
