It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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