I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
