Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
