conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
