Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I need water and some morals
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
