I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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