OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize