i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
