it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
