Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Even my vagina gasped.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
