Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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