I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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