all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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