I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Randomize
