Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
