I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
