i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
