y did u give ur computer a hand job?
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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