I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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