This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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