I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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