Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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