Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
