Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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