Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Let the clothes fall where they may.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
