Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
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