Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
