Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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