wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
