Whod you bang
Having a random hookup so left but love u
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
