After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I just forgot I was standing up.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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