Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
