That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize