my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Life is so much better after having sex.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
