wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
