Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
