did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
